Business meetings have their own language: synergy, best practices, circle back. Most of it is stale, overused, and, well… chopped. Meanwhile, teenagers are out here inventing slang that spreads across the internet in days.
Their words are short, to the point, and loaded with meaning.
So what if we borrowed a little of that Gen Alpha energy for the boardroom? Not only would it make meetings less painful, but it might even shake people out of autopilot. Here’s how to swap your tired corporate jargon for slang that’s fresher, funnier, and surprisingly on point.
Study this guide well. It may save your business. There’s a test at the end, just to make sure you were paying attention.
1. Think outside the box >> Get sendy
Forget incremental improvements. Don’t just brainstorm, get sendy. Send that idea so far outside the box it needs a passport.
Example: “This marketing plan is fine, but what if we get sendy and drop the whole campaign on TikTok instead of email?”
2. Let’s circle back >> Bet
Why use 12 corporate syllables when one word does the job? “Bet” is the fast-pass way to say: “Sure, let’s revisit later.”
Example: “Not sure about that budget line yet, bet, we’ll check again after finance reviews it.”
3. Tried-and-true strategy >> Chopped
That go-to move everyone keeps recycling? It’s chopped. It worked once, now it’s just overdone.
Example: “Running the same webinar every quarter? That’s chopped.”
4. Synergy >> Cooking
When the team is vibing, ideas are flowing, and projects are moving, you’re cooking. No slides required.
Example: “That workshop yesterday? We were cooking. Everyone left with three new collab ideas.”
5. Old-school approach >> Big Unc energy
When someone insists on doing things the old way, or slows the group down with outdated thinking, that’s Big Unc energy.
Example: “Printing out every agenda before the meeting? Big Unc energy.”
6. Manage expectations >> Stop glazing
When someone hypes an average idea like it’s revolutionary, it’s time to step in: stop glazing.
Example: “That slide transition wasn’t Steve Jobs-level, calm down. Stop glazing.”
7. Pivot >> 41
Sometimes, you just need to switch it up. Call an audible. Yell “41” and go a whole new direction.
Example: “The campaign flopped. 41, we’re pivoting to community events instead.”
8. Leverage our assets >> Delulu goals
It sounds fancy, but really it’s just corporate optimism bordering on delulu.
Example: “They said we’d leverage our assets to triple sales in Q4. That’s so delulu.”
9. Deep dive >> What the John
OK, this one is not a translation, but a reaction to the phrase everyone dreads in meetings. When we hear ‘deep dive,’ we’re all thinking, “What the John are we even doing here?”
Example: “Another three-hour deep dive into KPIs? What the John.”
10. Best practices >> 6-7
The ultimate corporate catch-all. Doesn’t mean anything concrete, but everyone nods along. Just like 6-7.
Example: “They told us to follow best practices… which basically meant 6-7.”
11. Move the needle >> Cooking
When results actually start shifting in the right direction, you’re cooking.
Example: “That new campaign really kicked off! We’re cooking now.”
12. Delusional optimism >> Delulu
Every office has that person who swears the quarterly numbers will triple if we just “believe.” That’s not strategy, that’s delulu.
Example: “He thinks our five-person team can launch in 10 countries by next month? Delulu.”
Your new-age business language test
If you understand this paragraph, you pass the test and can now go forth and chair some amazing meetings:
Running a business is all about adapting. One minute your strategy is cooking, the next it’s chopped.
You think you’ve nailed the presentation, but the client hits you with a bet and still ghosts.
Your team? Half of them are delulu about next quarter’s goals, the other half are cooked from the last sprint.
Leadership says we need to “synergize cross-functional initiatives,” but really, they just want us to get sendy on the new product launch.
And when the execs walk in late to the meeting, it’s giving big Unc energy. At that point, all you can do is shrug and say, “What the John?”
PHOTO: An AI generated image of a teenager making a presentation in a board room while everyone around the table laughs.
CONTRIBUTOR
Emilia White
Emilia loves to write. She is student of life and business and says she keeps a million notebooks all over her house, where she has jotted down notes about everything. She is constantly enamoured by how people behave in different environments and wonders if the world would be more real if we all wore pajamas to work.
